


i still loved you

by mkairi



Category: GOT7
Genre: Accidental Kissing, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Coming Out, Confessions, Crying, Drinking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Lowercase, M/M, Morning Kisses, Pining, Possibly Unrequited Love, Self-Reflection, Sleepy Kisses, They're so sweet, background relationship is 2jae, bambam is just confused about his feelings, even though it might not seem like it, i love them, i promise it'll be happy, just two sweet boys in love, lapslock, possible happy ending, well kinda accidental i guess, yugyeom is oblivious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-04-16 18:46:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 14,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14171223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mkairi/pseuds/mkairi
Summary: no matter what kim yugyeom did,bambam couldn’t help but fall more and more in love with him.orbambam thinks back on how hopelessly in love with his best friend he is and knows he won't be able to fall out of love.-[the tags explain a lot compared to this summary]





	1. one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was supposed to be pure angst with no remorse, but i got too soft. hopefully you'll enjoy this fic!

_when we were trainees, i loved you._

 

bambam had always looked up to yugyeom. 

yes, because he was pretty tall, but there were also other reasons. even though yugyeom was younger, he was so charismatic. he could talk to anyone without fear and become friends instantly.bambam had come from thailand not speaking korean too well. looking back, that was presumably a reason he could have struggled making friends with anyone.

until he officially met kim yugyeom.

bambam had watched yugyeom from afar, hoping he would be the next victim of yugyeom’s habit of friend-making. during a training session, bambam was having difficulty. yugyeom had come over to see if the older boy was okay. bambam never mentioned he injured his foot to yugyeom, but he seemed to know. he had asked whether bambam needed to get an ice pack or just rest. he helped bambam personally learn the dance that they needed to practise. when he noticed bambam was in pain, he would instantly sit him down and help. he didn’t leave bambam’s side until he knew every second of the dance. then there was that moment. yugyeom had held his hand out bambam.

“we haven’t really properly introduced ourselves yet. i’m kim yugyeom, but you might already know that…” he trailed off awkwardly. bambam smiled at him, shaking his hand.

“my real name is hard to say, so people usually just call me bambam,” he greeted in broken korean, enjoying the feeling of yugyeom’s warm hands over his cold ones. yugyeom tilted his head in slight confusion.

“i guess i’ll just call you bambam, then,” he said. 

bambam was really touched. no one had usually bothered to pay attention to him. his lack of korean social skills forced him to stay left out. but kim yugyeom didn’t care. he genuinely wanted to help the older boy. bambam was so affected by this that he couldn’t stop thinking about the tall boy for the next few days. the image of yugyeom’s smiling face and caring eyes stuck in his head no matter how many times he tried to get rid of it. not that he minded, though.

 

yugyeom slowly became closer to the thai boy. they hadn’t really used speaking as their main source of communication. of course they talked, but a lot of the conversation was simply through movement. when bambam finally admitted that he didn’t really know much korean, yugyeom had snapped up the opportunity to teach him.

“wouldn’t that be too much trouble?” bambam said. he was so scared he would waste the younger boy’s time. however, yugyeom proved him wrong. the smile on yugyeom’s face at that moment would stay with him forever. he was smiling so wide that his gums were showing. small wrinkles had appeared next to his deep brown eyes, despite his young age.

“of course not! it would be an honour, bambam,” he responded. that smile was contagious and one slowly made its way onto the older boy’s face. a blush soon followed and his had to avert his eyes from the younger boy.

“thank you,” he mumbled, but the smile never left either boy’s lips.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!! i know this chapter is quite short since the whole thing was supposed to be a oneshot, but the chapters will get longer, i promise! i'll be able to update this fic a lot faster than my other ones since these chapters aren't like 2.5k words long jsdjf  
> please leave kudos/comments, it would be greatly appreciated!
> 
> p.s. i know in the real world, bambam was always the one getting attention from the others as a trainee, but i had to adjust it for this story lmao


	2. two.

_when we made it into got7, i still loved you._

 

bambam and yugyeom had already met the other boys beforehand. they all seemed nice, and the two youngest had already started joking around with them together.

the news that bambam and yugyeom were selected for a group together brought them both to tears. that night they were crying into each others arms, so incredibly overwhelmed they would still be able to spend their time together.

bambam’s korean had gotten much better thanks to the help of, who he could now call, his best friend. however, bambam still had a slight lisp and a thai accent. yugyeom had teased the older about this many times, but knew when to stop. bambam was so grateful for yugyeom, and the fact they could spend most of their time together made him feel giddy. they both greeted and congratulated the other boys as well. 

there was mark tuan, the oldest. he came from america to train here. bambam found that cool; at least he wasn’t the only foreigner in the group. mark was quiet and rarely spoke. however, sometimes he would become playful and mess with his youngers.

and then there was im jaebum, their new leader. he was the perfect image of a leader; compassionate, trusting, responsible and courageous.

next was jackson wang. boy, was he wild. he was born in hong kong and fenced for a while. bambam looked up to him, too. he was confident in himself and those around him. he was playful when he could be, and serious when he should be.

park jinyoung was the next youngest. he kind of scared bambam, but he was the first one yugyeom targeted when he wanted to be annoying. the older would annoy him right back, though.

choi youngjae was only a year older than them and was almost as mischievous. he was one of the most powerful vocalists he had ever heard. despite his seriousness when he sang, he was basically a ball of sunshine otherwise.

then there was himself. he thought he was pretty boring compared to the others. he didn’t have an amazing voice or any cool talents. he was just himself.

and then, there was youngest of them all. kim yugyeom. bambam had never known how exactly to describe him. 

pretty. talented. sweet. genuine. funny. annoying. cute. friendly. loving. 

they were only some of the words that came to mind when he thought of yugyeom. he could never string them together to have a proper definition, but he didn’t need to. just thinking of yugyeom sent butterflies racing through his stomach and chest. when yugyeom smiled, warmth spread throughout bambam, making him feel breathless and full of bliss. 

bambam couldn’t help but fall in love with him.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> super short chapter i'm sorry, but i promise they will get longer!!


	3. three.

_when you had missed your family, i still loved you._

 

yugyeom missed his family. he missed them a lot. the group would sometimes be training or practicing, when suddenly yugyeom would excuse himself and leave the room. of course, bambam would follow in an instant. one of these times, he walked in on yugyeom sitting on the floor in another room, tears falling from his eyes.

“yugyeom?” bambam said tentatively. the younger boy looked up, and bambam could feel his sadness radiating off him.

“yeah,” yugyeom replied dejectedly. bambam closed the door behind him and carefully walked to the younger boy He wrapped a hesitant arm around him and, to bambam’s surprise, yugyeom leaned into him, “i miss them.”

bambam nodded; he understood.

“it’s alright, i’m sure we all miss our families, too,” he tried to reassure the crying boy. the boy in question let out a sad laugh.

“i shouldn’t be complaining, though. my family is here in korea! you should be the one crying, if anything,” yugyeom stated, letting his exhausted self fall fully into bambam’s hold. bambam felt his chest tighten. yugyeom was right; he did miss his family often. they were all the way over in thailand, and the only contact they had was the occasional text message or call bambam could fit in during his heavy schedule.

“complain all you want! just because they’re here doesn't mean you can’t miss them any less!” bambam reassured his best friend. he could see a smile appear on yugyeom’s face.

“thanks, bambam. that really means a lot,” he mumbled into bambam’s chest. his eyes flickered closed and his breathing slowed. bambam didn’t know what to do but soon enough, the youngest was asleep. bambam didn’t move, happily letting the younger sleep. his heart was beating so erratically he was afraid the noise would be audible and wake the sleeping boy. there was a knock on the door of the room they were in, but bambam didn’t want to answer for fear of waking yugyeom.

the person who opened the door without answer was jackson, obviously to find where the two had gone. bambam put a finger onto his lips, and luckily jackson seemed to understand instantly. he nodded and closed the door, leaving the two maknae in the room. the only source of light was a small window. the light illuminated yugyeom’s features. it landed on his eyelashes which casted a shadow onto his face. his lips were shining. his cheeks were tearstained and it took all that bambam had to stop himself from wiping the tears away. 

bambam lost track of the amount of time he sat there, his best friend asleep in his lap. he didn’t care, though. if he could, he’d stay like this forever.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you're still enjoying the story!! i'm currently writing chapter sixteen right now and it gets a lot more interesting believe me, so hold on until then jdjf


	4. four.

_when i tried explaining my feelings to others, i still loved you._

 

jaebum was the person that bambam went to for support. he was their leader after all. they were in their dormitory together, but yugyeom was in the practice rooms, dancing on his own. yugyeom had asked bambam to watch him, but bambam was so muddled up in his feelings he had to decline. he tried to convince himself that he was imagining the flicker of sadness in yugyeom’s eyes; _the heart sees what it wants,_ he kept repeating to himself, avoiding letting his feelings overtake his judgement.

“jaebum-hyung, can i talk to you?” he asked nervously after he had prepared himself for over an hour. jaebum looked at him confused, but agreed. after bambam had led him to the room he shared with yugyeom, he closed the door behind him.

“so, what is it?” the leader asked, and bambam took a breath in. he steeled himself up.

“what do i do if i think i like someone?” he asked it in the vaguest way possible, hoping he wouldn’t have to go into detail. jaebum blinked and thought for a second.

“in… in the group?” he asked carefully, and bambam couldn’t straight up tell the truth. he paused before shaking his head. he knew he would come to regret lying, but he would rather face the consequences than tell anyone about his crush specifically.

“okay. that’s okay. bambam, you know you’re not allowed to date yet, but please don’t bottle up your feelings, it won’t end well,” jaebum tried to explain, choosing his words carefully, “if you don’t mind me asking, since it’s outside the group, who is it?”

bambam didn’t know he’d regret lying less than thirty seconds after saying it. he felt his face become red as he began stuttering over his words.

“u-uh… just some guy that i’m friends with…” he tried to cover up, but realised a slip in his words.

_i said guy._

jaebum paused for a moment and studied bambam’s expression with his eyes. bambam instantly tried to cover up his mistake again, knowing full well he was just digging himself into a hole.

“uh, i didn’t mean that. i meant…” but he couldn’t find an excuse. jaebum smiled at him. a real, genuine smile.

“bambam, do you think i care it’s a guy? as long as you’re happy, that’s all that matters,” he responded, completely honest. 

bambam didn’t notice he was crying until jaebum pointed it out a minute later. bambam lifted a hand to his face, and they were, indeed, wet with tears.

“i’m sorry, i’m just overwhelmed,” he excused himself. feelings rushed over him. the hopelessness of being in love with yugyeom; the joy of being accepted; the confusion over his own feelings. he let the tears fall from his eyes and jaebum pulled him into an awkward hug. bambam didn’t care, though; it just felt so nice. he tightened his arms around the leader. 

“thank you,” was all he could get out before his frame was wracked with tears.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for sticking with this story, it means a lot! the chapters won't get much longer than this until chapter 8 so thank you for bearing with this story so far!   
> kudos/comments are very much appreciated as they help motivate me to write! thank you for reading uwu


	5. five.

_when we performed, i still loved you._

 

yugyeom’s performing abilities was one — of the many — things that bambam was drawn to. the youngest not only sang and danced, but _connected_ to the song. he felt the music through every inch of his body. when bambam wasn’t rapping, he would always watch the younger boy through the corner of his eye, admiring every move. yugyeom’s body flowed with the music and bambam may have forgotten a few of his dance moves every now and then due to this preoccupation. 

bambam loved the way yugyeom’s eyes sparkled when he addressed the audience. maybe, one day, that look of pure love and affection would be aimed at him. he always managed to get distracted by yugyeom, and this was especially true during concerts.

jackson had managed to pick up on it.

 

after a concert, he had approached bambam. the younger couldn’t decipher the look on his face. everyone else had gone out to get refreshments, but bambam hadn’t even managed to leave backstage yet. the entire concert yugyeom was acting as if he either wanted to fall in love or seduce the entire audience. he had obviously done it as one massive joke, and he kept getting embarrassed whenever he did _anything_ mildly suggestive.

bambam couldn’t deal with it. of course he did his part. rapping when he needed to, dancing with vigour, talking and joking to the audience. the usual.

but he noticed that his glances toward the youngest were a lot more frequent. whenever yugyeom would act cute for the audience and get embarrassed, his natural reaction was to curl into bambam. normally, bambam would have just gotten a little embarrassed too, but it was different this time.

he had finally thought he got his feelings ordered up, but this small little affection from yugyeom messed it all up.

jackson had _definitely_ noticed now.

“bambam, you were acting off today. what’s wrong?” he asked. bambam’s face went hot, and he pretty much all of his excuses left him.

“oh, it’s nothing. i just haven’t… been feeling too well lately,” he lied, sure that his red face told a completely different story. the corner of jackson’s lips turned up.

“you sure? do you want me to take you to the doctor?” he asked, not letting the smile off his face. bambam quickly waved his hands in front of his face.

“n-no, hyung, it’s alright. just a headache, i’ll drink some water and have some painkillers. i’ll be fine,” bambam reassured the older boy. jackson looked at him skeptically, seeming to know everything.

“whatever you say, bambam,” he said and left the room. bambam let out a relieved sigh. his secret would stay mostly hidden. for now, at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading, it means a lot!! comments and kudos are greatly appreciated, it motivates me uwu


	6. six.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two different "i still loved you"s in this one because they're two p.o.v.s of the same thing ~~  
> getting kinda angsty now ,,

_when the tears wouldn’t stop falling, i still loved you._

 

it was any other night for the members of got7. they had all settled down in their dorm. almost everyone was in the main room, watching a movie of some sort. however, youngjae was out walking his and mark’s new dog, and bambam was in his and yugyeom’s room. 

he was lying on his bed in the dark. he hid muffled sobs behind his hands. he wanted the tears to stop. he wanted to stop crying whenever he thought of _him,_ whenever he thought he had a chance. he didn’t know why he cried; tears just came to his eyes over thoughts of the youngest. at first, they’d be happy tears. tears about how grateful bambam was to have yugyeom in his life. about the youngest teaching him korean and always, _always,_ being there for him. the more he thought about it, his chest would tighten and he’d despise every tear that fell. the tears were bitter and bambam almost laughed. he didn’t know what he was thinking when he had thought that maybe, just maybe, yugyeom had felt the same. he never confessed to the younger boy, but hearing the words “best friend” confused him. it was bittersweet. he loved when yugyeom said these words as they were directed toward him. it held so much meaning for the both of them.

always being there for each other.

rarely leaving the other’s side.

never stopping supporting the other.

loving the other, no matter if they bicker.

loving each other in a platonic way.

it brought more tears to his eyes. yugyeom could never see past this platonic love the way bambam did.

but bambam didn’t want to complain anymore.

he took a deep breath in, hating the shivers that shook his small frame.

he will never stop being best friends with yugyeom, and if that meant throwing any other feelings away, he’d do it. 

he blinked away the last of the tears as he lay to face the side. his eyes began closing, exhausted from crying. he knew the path ahead wouldn’t be easy.

but he’d do it for yugyeom.

 

_when you had heard me crying, i still loved you._

 

yugyeom was standing outside the door. his heart broke more and more upon hearing his best friend’s sobs. bambam was obviously trying to be quiet, but it was in vain. yugyeom could hear every bit of it. he waited in front of the door for the crying to stop, or even waver. he didn’t know if he should walk in yet. bambam had comforted him so many times; yugyeom thought it was time to finally pay it all back. he gathered up his courage. he didn't know exactly how to calm the other boy down, but bambam was his best friend. he had to do something.

when yugyeom was about to walk in, he heard the sobs fade. soon, there was nothing but silence. yugyeom mentally punched himself for not just going in earlier. 

he’d let his best friend go to sleep crying. he’d let him go to sleep upset. he opened the door, careful to not make much sound. the room was dark, but the light from the hallway lit up every corner of the room. bambam was lying on his bed fully clothed. his pillow and blankets had tears all over them, like they’d be cried into for hours. however, bambam was fast asleep now. there was nothing yugyeom could do anymore. he closed the door and switched on the lamp, casting a warm glow over the room. he walked over to his best friend’s bed and kneeled down. bambam was facing toward him and hadn’t stirred at all. he was deep asleep, presumably just tired from — or of — crying. yugyeom watched the older boy sleep for a minute or so. he noticed the boy in question hadn’t even bothered to clean his face before sleeping. his hair was stuck to his face with almost-dried tears, and yugyeom felt a pang in his chest. he reached his hand toward the older boy’s face and pushed his hair behind his ear. he continued pushing the hair out of bambam’s face. he didn't know why he was doing it; possibly because of how bad he felt.

how he didn’t come in to help even though bambam had done it countless times for him. 

for allowing his best friend to fall asleep in tears, probably still thinking about whatever had made him this upset.

yugyeom wished that he wasn’t crying right now either.

he let his hand rest gently on bambam’s face. he used his thumb to wipe the tears from under bambam’s eye. 

“you’ll be okay, bambam,” he reassured his best friend, his voice full of genuine care and love, before leaving to his own bed.

bambam smiled, his eyes still closed.

oh, how he wished that was true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading !!  
> this is the last super short chapter, the next ones are all over 1000 words so please look forward to them!!  
> as always comments and kudos are super appreciated and help motivate me to write more ~


	7. seven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the first of my longer chapters!! it's getting really into the plot now, so i hope yall enjoy!!

_when you told me about your feelings, i still loved you._

 

a few months had passed since yugyeom had heard bambam crying in their room. yugyeom didn’t know bambam knew what happened. bambam was too afraid to tell him.

they had all gotten home from a concert. everyone was exhausted and went straight to their rooms with a simple “goodnight.” to each other. it was quite late, early in the a.m.s.

yugyeom and bambam were in their room, just lying down on their bed and playing on their phones. bambam was just scrolling casually through sns when yugyeom spoke.

“hey, bambam,” he said, seeming cautious about something. 

“yeah?” the older boy responded, wondering what he wanted to talk about to him at this late hour. he heard yugyeom sit up on his bed and slowly followed suit. he turned to yugyeom, who seemed to be thinking. he glanced over toward bambam but quickly looked away.

“can i talk to you about something? please… please don’t judge,” yugyeom asked, now almost nervous. bambam’s heart was racing, thinking about the possible things yugyeom could say with this preface. however, he tried his best to push these feelings down, as he had done many times before.

“yeah, of course,” was what he responded with. he kept watching yugyeom. the younger boy was fiddling with his fingers, obviously trying to think of how to say whatever he was thinking. he looked at bambam.

“well… i’m confused… about things,” he began, choosing his words carefully. bambam nodded for yugyeom to continue. yugyeom rubbed his hand on the back of his neck nervously, “i-i don’t know if this is normal, but i’m just… too afraid to ask,” he continued, obviously too scared to get to the main point of this conversation. bambam looked him in the eyes, almost as nervous as the younger boy was. yugyeom turned and hid his face away.

“yugyeomie, you’re my best friend, i won’t judge you, i promise,” he reassured him. bambam tentatively walked to the younger boy’s bed and sat next to him. there was a comfortable distance between them, enough for personal space but also enough for them to feel each other’s presence closely. yugyeom looked back up to bambam. bambam gave him a smile.

“okay. i think that… i-i might like guys… more than i like girls, i-i mean,” yugyeom confessed, trying to hide his stutter. he almost said it as a question, unsure of himself. bambam felt the tension leave his body. he quickly wrapped his arms around the younger boy. the boy in question froze, but soon relaxed. bambam tried to not let his feelings get in the way.

“it’s okay, yugyeom, it really is,” he said, and he felt yugyeom’s arms around him. bambam didn’t know how to react when yugyeom started to cry into his shoulder, “you’ll always be my best friend, no matter what. something as small as liking boys doesn’t change a thing,” bambam reassured his best friend. it hurt to say it. yugyeom liking boys just added more fuel to the flame for bambam. he had tried so hard to push these feelings away, but this simple admission brought hope back into his heart.

“thanks, bambam, it means a lot,” the younger boy said into his shoulder, and bambam just hugged him tighter. something inside bambam wanted to tell yugyeom that he felt the same; that he also liked boys. however, yugyeom must already have a lot going on and he didn’t want to burden him with something else.

yugyeom eventually pulled away from bambam, wiping his tears on his sleeve.

“i just had to get that off my chest, sorry for bursting into tears like that,” he apologised, smiling even though his eyes were red and puffy. bambam shook his head.

“yugyeomie, don’t apologise! it’s really okay, i’m happy you trust me enough to tell me,” bambam admitted, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. yugyeom let his smile grow real and genuine.

“of course, you’re really my best friend, bam-ah,” he responded, “i wouldn’t trade you for the world,” he confessed, leaving bambam half blushing, half smiling. bambam smacked the younger boy on the chest in embarrassment.

“don’t say such cheesy things!” he said, sending yugyeom into laughter. he rubbed the part of his chest bambam had gently hit in fake pain. when he had stopped his laugher, he made direct eye contact with his best friend.

“bambam, i really couldn’t live without you,” he admitted suddenly, no awkwardness or any hint of saying it to just annoy bambam. it was a genuine confession. bambam felt his face heat up and tears well up in the corner of his eyes. he smiled at the younger boy.

“i couldn’t live without you, either,” he responded, his face surely a bright red by now. however, the glow of the lamp was too faint to make it obvious. the air was somewhat awkward, but now a lot lighter with these confessions off their chests. yugyeom suddenly wrapped his arms around bambam, holding him tight as if letting him go would cause him to disappear. if bambam wasn’t already blushing, he would be now. yugyeom’s head was resting against his chest as his arms were around his waist. he seemed so relaxed and happy that everything went well. bambam reached around and hugged yugyeom back.

he wished he could stay like this; relaxed and safe in yugyeom’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oo so what did yall think?? the next few chapters are interesting,, please feel free to leave kudos/comments as they really motivate me to write more!!   
> thank you for reading~


	8. eight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really hope you enjoy this chapter!! just yugbam being ... yugbam

   _when you had drunk too much, i still loved you._

 

it was the night after a concert. luckily, all the members’ schedules were empty that day and they were free to gather at the dorm together. it was after their final concert and everyone was tired. the hyungs had bought some alcohol to celebrate and jaebum had to repeat the fact that “it’s for _us,_ not you two.” to the two youngest. the two were of legal age to drink, but it was just the fact no one trusted them if they managed to get drunk. they caused enough ruckus when they were sober, and no one wanted to even _imagine_ what would happen with a little alcohol in their systems.

the celebrations were going great. it had been almost an hour since they started celebrating and, well, drinking. at some point they had all gathered in a circle and were talking about what they’ve accomplished. youngjae was trying to explain how grateful he was for everyone, but the alcohol in his system didn’t help. youngjae was someone who got emotional easily, and that was especially obvious when he was tipsy. jaebum, who was sitting next to the teary boy, wrapped a reassuring arm around him. youngjae smiled at him, thanking him especially, as he started crying. 

bambam and yugyeom were sitting slightly away from the group, but still pitching into the conversation they were having. bambam was falling in and out of sleep; he was just tired. he was sitting close to yugyeom, but didn’t want to risk closing the gap between them. in the corner of his eye, he saw yugyeom take a sip from something. he whipped his head around to see yugyeom drinking an already half-empty beer. bambam smiled and nudged him.

“yugyeom! hyung’s gonna kill you,” he stated, but there was no malice in his voice. the tipsy smile yugyeom gave him made his heart soar.

“is alright… they’re too distracted…” yugyeom mumbled, gesturing his head toward his hyungs. bambam turned to the group; yugyeom was right. jaebum was comforting the crying youngjae, who hadn’t stopped crying while listing off everything he was grateful for. jackson was also getting teary, blaming it on the younger boy. mark and jinyoung were just smiling, glancing to each other every now and then as if having a silent conversation.

bambam looked toward yugyeom, who was still drinking. he stretched and his foot hit something. bambam couldn’t help but hear a noise that sounded suspiciously like a glass bottle hitting another glass bottle. he looked over yugyeom and saw that there were already two empty bottles on the floor, not even including the one yugyeom was drinking from.

“yugyeom!” he said in shock, but yugyeom just smiled at him.

“…you fell asleep so i just… got one before you could tell me off… and i just like this feeling…” yugyeom said wistfully. bambam could presume that yugyeom had never really drank before, and that’s why he got so tipsy from just two and a half bottles. bambam sighed, finding this side of yugyeom kind of… cute? ever since yugyeom’s confession, bambam had tried to avoid his crush on him. stopped trying to make his feelings bigger. but sometimes it just hit him, and everything yugyeom did was the best thing in the world.

now was one of those times.

 

bambam absolutely _despised_ being the voice of reason. it was one of the reasons he was always the one causing the trouble. however, he didn’t want to wake up to an overly hungover yugyeom and have to look after him. bambam wouldn’t mind spending so much time with him, but when he smelled like alcohol and was vomiting, he didn’t really want to anymore.

“hey, yugyeom, maybe you should stop for now,” bambam suggested, gently reaching for the bottle in yugyeom’s hand. yugyeom pulled it away with a playful scowl.

“if you drink it, i’ll give it,” he said. his logic didn’t make any sense, but bambam melted at yugyeom’s smile and felt compelled to agree. it would be good to get rid of his own inhibitions, too. in a situation like this, with the two of them this close to each other, it wouldn’t be bad. yugyeom brought the bottle back and placed it in bambam’s hand. bambam lifted the bottle and skulled the entire thing. yugyeom clapped quietly so their hyungs wouldn’t hear. not that it mattered. jinyoung was telling some kind of ghost story to the others, and they were all absolutely engrossed in it.

bambam’s head was spinning, but he loved it. he grinned at yugyeom, who smiled back. yugyeom leaned forward to grab another bottle. the bottles were behind jinyoung, but he managed to grab one silently. he opened it and took a sip, then offered some to bambam. bambam obliges, letting yugyeom pour some into his mouth. it tasted bitter, but bambam loved it. it sent shivers down his spine and sent his head into dizziness. he loved every second of this feeling, no matter how bad it made him feel.

kind of like the way his feelings toward yugyeom made him feel.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!! the next few chapters are all on the same day and it gets pretty /yugbam/
> 
> preview:  
> "bambam sighed silently and thought, _i’m not quite drunk enough to lose my inhibitions just yet, i guess._  
>  but yugyeom was."


	9. nine.

_when you kissed me, i still loved you._

 

needless to say, yugyeom and bambam had managed to get a little more than tipsy. the others had put some sort of movie on t.v., and youngjae was _still_ managing to cry at random parts. there was a scene where a dog got lost and he had burst into tears. it had taken the others — mainly jaebum — almost twenty minutes to calm him down. jackson and jinyoung were laughing their asses off, and mark was drifting between being awake and asleep.

yugyeom and bambam had gotten through six bottles together, but it was painfully obvious that yugyeom was the one more affected by alcohol. bambam had started to feel ill and knew that the younger boy would probably be feeling the same if he didn’t stop soon.

“yugyeomie, can i… have that please? you’ve had enough, i think…” bambam slurred, his head already hurting. yugyeom smiled evilly at him.

“you’ll have to pry it from my hands first, bammie~!” he said, lifting the bottle high above his head. bambam noticed that he found this more adorable than he should have, but just brushed it off as the alcohol talking. yugyeom was already tall, and him sitting on his feet didn’t help. bambam tried kneeling, but it was still _just_ too high for his reach. he nervously decided what to do. he climbed onto yugyeom’s lap and tickled him. yugyeom let out loud laughter, desperately trying to push his best friend off him. 

the others were ignoring them completely, knowing they were just up to their usual antics. anyway, they were too busy trying to focus on the movie. youngjae was curled up into jaebum’s chest in case he started crying again. jaebum was slowly stroking the younger boy’s hair in his drunken state, not realising he’ll probably regret doing so.

bambam’s hands were finding anywhere to tickle his best friend, and he couldn't stop himself from smiling. he never managed to tire, though. yugyeom finally gave in, letting his arms relax.

“o…kay. here you go,” he stated, handing his bottle to bambam. he quickly placed it on the floor, too far away for yugyeom to reach it. when he turned back to yugyeom, his drunken mind realised how compromising of a position they were in. bambam’s thighs were either side of yugyeom’s legs, and the younger boy’s arms were resting on bambam’s shoulders. they barely had any room between them.

yugyeom and bambam held eye contact for what seemed like forever. bambam couldn’t help but feel his heart beat faster and faster the longer he stared. he found himself getting lost in yugyeom’s deep brown eyes, wondering what the younger boy was thinking. bambam so badly wanted to close the gap between them, but even his drunken mind told him that might not be the best idea. he sighed silently and thought, _i’m not quite drunk enough to lose my inhibitions just yet, i guess._

 

but yugyeom was.

 

bambam had begun to move off the younger boy, but the boy in question had held the shorter one’s shoulders down with his arms. bambam froze, not knowing why yugyeom didn’t want him to move. he was running through all the scenarios he wanted to happen in his head, and he felt his pulse rise. he was getting nervous. yugyeom’s hands travelled to cup bambam’s face.

now bambam really couldn’t think straight.

yugyeom pulled bambam toward him, close enough that their lips met. bambam had wanted this. he had wanted this for so long and it was finally happening.

there was nothing sexual or lustful in this kiss. it almost seemed hesitant or confused. it was an intimate kiss, neither of the two boys doing anything to intensify it, but also neither pulling away. they stayed like this for a little while.

when yugyeom pulled away, bambam already missed the feel of soft lips against his. yugyeom blinked a few times, as if completely confused as to why he did what he did. bambam was breathless and also very much confused. he felt lightheaded, but he didn’t know whether it was due to the alcohol or the kiss. he looked into yugyeom’s eyes, which were clouded from alcohol. 

“i-i’m sorry,” yugyeom stuttered out, as if his brain just caught up with his body. bambam shook his head, still reeling over the sudden kiss.

“gyeomie, don't worry, it’s alright,” he responded, not wanting his best friend to feel bad. it took all of what he had to not lean in and kiss him again. it had felt so right, like that’s where his lips should have been years ago. bambam got off yugyeom’s lap and returned to his spot next to him, instead.none of their hyungs had noticed.

“i’m going to bed. my head hurts,” yugyeom announced absentmindedly to no one in particular. the hyungs waved him goodbye, but bambam was silent. yugyeom excused himself and walked off to the room he and bambam shared. bambam didn’t know what to do anymore.

he had wanted to kiss yugyeom for the longest of times, but why did he feel so bad about it? maybe it was the alcohol, but bambam reasoned he was nowhere near drunk enough to not know what he was doing. maybe yugyeom was though, and just acted out whatever he thought. bambam felt sick. he couldn’t go back to his room yet, knowing that yugyeom wouldn’t be asleep and that hedidn’t want to face him until he had slept his drunkenness out of him.

there was some part of bambam that wanted yugyeom to forget what had happened. he wanted this memory to be his own, because he knew yugyeom didn’t see him the same way. he wanted to harbour this secret for himself.

_if he didn’t like me the same way, why did he kiss me?_ bambam thought, _he… he’s just too drunk, i guess,_ bambam tried to convince himself, but knew deep in his heart he was hoping that wasn’t the only reason.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> something has finally sparked between them!!! but will it last??  
> thank you so so much for reading, this is one of my favourite chapters to write since it's lowkey super cute  
> please let me know what you think in the comments, since comments and kudos are always appreciated since they give me motivation to write more!!


	10. ten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!! i finally have more time to write uwu !!! i hope you enjoy!! this chapter is quite short but it's leading up to a /big/ part !!

_when i couldn’t sleep, i still loved you._

 

a few hours had passed since yugyeom had gone to bed. bambam had tried to sleep on the other couch, but he couldn’t. his hyungs were either asleep or talking amongst themselves. mark had not moved at all. jackson was resting his head on jinyoung’s shoulder, but bambam couldn’t tell if he was awake or not. youngjae was fast asleep in jaebum’s lap. jinyoung and jaebum were talking quietly to each other, however neither stopped comforting either sleeping boy. the t.v. was still playing some random channel, but the volume was down.

all bambam wanted to do was sleep. but he couldn’t when whenever he closed his eyes he just saw yugyeom. saw his deep brown eyes getting closer as their lips met. his own eyes would open and he would be left panting for breath, just wishing for it to happen again. he felt so weak; so hopeless. he hated how his whole mind was attached to this one moment, and he knew he would never be able to let it go. he finally decided he was going to suck it up and go to his room. he quietly got up, hoping not to disturb any of his sleeping hyungs. luckily they ignored him.

he managed to make it to his room and open the door. the lamp was still on, but yugyeom had completely passed out. 

on bambam’s bed. 

bambam sighed, walking quietly toward yugyeom. he had fallen asleep fully clothed and hadn’t bothered changing. he didn’t even tuck himself in blankets; just fell right asleep. his head wasn’t even on the pillow properly. 

bambam’s mildly tipsy mind decided that he would help yugyeom get more comfortable. 

he slowly reached over and grabbed the blankets that were strewn on the bed. he pulled them over yugyeom, who seemed to sigh in content in his sleep. bambam smiled slightly before attempting to put yugyeom’s head back on the pillow. he gently lifted his head and slid the pillow underneath it. yugyeom had a sleepy smile on his face that bambam couldn’t remember seeing when he first walked in. something compelled him to stroke yugyeom’s face. his hand gently caressed yugyeom’s face, feeling the soft skin under his fingers. he sighed, knowing he’ll pretty much never get to be in such an intimate moment with him again. as bambam pulled his arm away to turn around, he felt a hand grab his wrist. he whipped his head back around to see yugyeom’s hand gripping his wrist. the small smile was still on yugyeom’s face even though his eyes were still closed. bambam was frozen.

“stay,” yugyeom commanded quietly. bambam didn’t know what to do, so he just kneeled next to yugyeom’s — actually, his own — bed. yugyeom released bambam’s arm. he then sleepily opened his eyes, and bambam couldn’t deny he looked adorable. yugyeom shook his head and pat the bed in front of him, “here.”

now bambam really didn’t know what to do. yugyeom was telling him, _him,_ to sleep in the bed _right_ next to him. but seeing yugyeom’s cute sleeping face and pouted lips he couldn’t say no. his heart was beating fast as he climbed into his bed. he had expected yugyeom to move back a bit to allow him to have more room, but he didn’t. yugyeom seemed to be drifting in and out of consciousness. as bambam slid down to feel as comfortable as he could, he was hyperaware of how close yugyeom was to him. he could feel yugyeom’s warm breath fan across his face. he was nervous. he was lying barely centimetres away from his best friend — _crush —_ and he didn’t know how he would be able to sleep now. he felt so comfortable and warm, but didn’t really know what to do. the lamp was casting a warm light across the room, illuminating yugyeom’s sleeping features. it landed on his eyelashes which casted a shadow onto his face. his lips were shining; they were _so_ close to bambam’s own. bambam couldn’t help but feel a sense of déjà vu. he glanced over all of yugyeom’s gentle features and felt his heart flutter.

he wasn’t going to be able to sleep tonight.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as usual, please leave comments/kudos as it gives me more motivation to write !!


	11. eleven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the lack of updates, school and writer's block are hell lmao  
> i hope you enjoy this chapter!

_the day after i still loved you._

 

bambam had awoken first after the restless night and had almost completely forgotten about the sleeping figure next to him. what jogged his memory was yugyeom’s arm around his waist. he looked up and saw yugyeom’s face barely centimetres from his. his eyes had flickered up and down the younger boy’s sleeping face as he thought about what had happened the night before. luckily, he managed to remember every second of it; he was sure he wouldn’t ever forget it. he let a small smile grace his face. yugyeom was dead asleep and probably wasn’t going to wake up for another few hours. bambam decided it was probably best for him to get up now; maybe to check on his hyungs. but there was something inside him which told him to not move. to stay in yugyeom’s hold for as long as possible. he almost listened to this urge until his brain caught up to his feelings.

_neither he or i will be as drunk anymore. i won’t have an excuse,_ bambam thought to himself, letting out a quiet sigh. he looked at his best friend’s face one last time before attempting to get up. he gently lifted yugyeom’s arm from around him and where it was once was on bambam’s waist burned. he instantly wanted to contact back but knew going was for the best. he managed to sit up then get off the bed. he watched yugyeom for minute before tentatively leaning down. he left a small kiss on yugyeom’s cheek before leaving. he didn’t know why he did it; maybe as a simple thank you for what happened. either way, yugyeom didn’t even stir a bit; he was out cold. bambam smiled down at him before walking out the room. he had drunk a little the previous night so his head was pounding slightly. he managed to ignore it as he walked into the joined kitchen/lounge area. he got himself a glass of water as he scanned the room. mark was fully awake on the couch. he waved to bambam and then put a finger over his mouth as if to signal _be quiet._ he then gestured to something on the floor. bambam had to walk around the counter to see what it was.

youngjae and jaebum were pretty much asleep on each other. jaebum was leaning against the other couch while youngjae was curled up in his chest. his arms were wrapped around jaebum’s waist, holding him tight. jaebum also had both arms around the younger boy, almost as if he was protecting him. jaebum’s head was leaning on youngjae’s; a position that would most definitely cause a sore neck when he woke up.

bambam smiled at mark who had gone back to watching the t.v. it was on as low of a volume it could go to avoid waking the sleeping pair. bambam walked to mark and sat next to him.

“how are you feeling?” mark asked causally.

“alright. i… uh… didn’t drink much so i’m okay enough,” bambam replied. it wasn’t completely true, but it wasn’t completely false either, “what about you?”

“well, i didn’t drink much either and i passed out about two hours in, so i’m good,” mark responded, laughing a little, “how’s yugyeom? i heard he left because his head hurt,” mark asked, genuinely a little concerned for their youngest member. bambam’s head instantly flashed back to their kiss; then them sleeping in the same bed.

“h-he’s good. when i went in there he was asleep. i let him be. he… uh… managed to get a bit drunk, so i wonder how he’ll be feeling when he wakes up…” bambam trailed off. suddenly he remembered that none of the hyungs knew they had drunk. mark perked up for a second.

“drunk?” mark questioned, and bambam couldn’t help but notice the corners of mark’s turn up. bambam was just too tired to lie.

“yeah. he was stealing bottles behind the hyungs’ backs. i tried to stop him, but…” bambam’s mind wouldn’t stop flashing to the feeling of their lips against each other. mark laughed a little.

“it’s alright. as the oldest i should have looked after you guys more. but i guess just one night of drinking won’t hurt,” he stated, causing the younger of the two to smile.

a few minutes later jackson walked into the room, jinyoung trailing behind him. both looked tired and mildly hungover. it seemed mark could sense that jackson was just about to complain loudly, because he shushed him, gesturing to the two sleeping figures on the floor. both jinyoung and jackson looked, the latter letting out a small “aww, how cute~!” before jinyoung hit him gently, smiling. jackson smiled back and then began to make his breakfast.

“how are you guys?” mark asked, quietly enough to not wake up the pair on the floor but loud enough for the two cooking to hear.

“my head feels like it’s gonna explode,” jackson complained. mark laughed a little, “same with jinyoung. his throat just hurts, so he doesn’t want to speak,” jackson explained, gesturing to the younger boy. jinyoung just half-smiled before returning to making his breakfast.

through this whole conversation, bambam couldn’t stop thinking of yugyeom. he wondered how he was and if he’d remember what happened. 

about twenty minutes later, jaebum woke up. everyone was staring, just wanting to see his reaction to the sleeping boy on him. jaebum didn’t seem to register the added weight at first. then, his eyes widened and he got visibly flustered.

“what are you going to do, jaebum-hyung~?” jackson said quietly, drawing a laugh from bambam. he needed something to get his mind off yugyeom. jaebum sent jackson a death glare from over his shoulder then went back to looking at the boy asleep on his chest. he removed his own arms from the younger boy easily, but getting him off of himself would be the hardest part.

“i can’t really move now, can i?” jaebum asked very, very quietly. bambam laughed _slightly_ too loudly when he saw his leader’s eyes lose almost all the life in them at this realisation. and his laugh was much too loud. youngjae stirred and jaebum froze.

“jaebum-hyung…” youngjae mumbled as he snuggled even closer, if that was physically possible, to the leader. jaebum’s cheeks turned a light pink as he heard jackson laughing, trying to hide the noise behind his hand. youngjae’s eyes fluttered open as he glanced up toward jaebum. and instead of detaching himself from the older boy, he just closed his eyes and fell asleep again.

they must have laughed too hard at the dead look on jaebum’s face that it had managed to wake up another member.

a tired yugyeom with tousled hair and disheveled clothing had walked into the room.

and bambam’s eyes were completely fixated on him.

he had all but forgotten jaebum and youngjae’s interaction and his mind was simply just filled with the cute boy who had just walked in.

“yugyeom-ah!” jackson said, waving at the youngest.

“hey,” yugyeom replied, his voice still gravelly from the alcohol he had consumed and from the fact he just woke up. bambam hated the fact he loved this voice. he wanted to wake up next to him and hear him speak to him in the morning. just like this.

“morning, gyeomie,” slipped out of his mouth before he could stop it. yugyeom glanced toward bambam and something flashed in the taller boy’s eyes. however, it was so fast bambam couldn’t decipher its meaning.

“morning, bambam,” yugyeom responded, letting a small smile slip onto his face. bambam’s heart fluttered and he cursed it. yugyeom went to grab a glass of water, similar to what bambam had done. he walked over and squeezed himself next to bambam, even though there was pretty much no room for mark and bambam on their own. bambam felt his face heat up and he knew how close yugyeom was. he hated how hyperaware he was of every single place yugyeom’s body was touching his own. bambam wanted so badly just to simply ask if yugyeom remembered anything, but that was sure to make the hyungs suspicious and he knew jackson wouldn’t let him live it down.

bambam just sighed instead. if yugyeom knew, he would say so.

if not, some things would be better left unsaid.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as usual, please please leave comments (+ kudos) as they really motivate me to write more!  
> the next chapter is definitely one of my favourites, please look forward to it <3


	12. twelve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm back!! my writer's block is slowly going away, but i'm not gonna jinx it since school's coming back around lmao  
> i really hope you enjoy this chapter, it's definitely my favourite so far!!

_when you took me out on what you avoided calling a “date”, i still loved you._

 

  “it’s just… a small thank you, you know?” 

bambam’s heart was beating at a rate he was sure wasn’t healthy. as soon as those words had left yugyeom’s mouth, he didn’t know what to do.

 

after _that_ night, yugyeom was mildly hungover and didn’t want to do basically anything.

that’s where bambam came in.

he had pretty much nursed yugyeom back to as best of his health as he could. it had been a few days since then. yugyeom was so grateful for this he had wanted to give back. 

he had seemed nervous; bambam didn’t know why. it was only until the words left yugyeom’s lips that he realised why.

“d-do you want to go out for lunch? i’ll p-pay.”

 

and that was what brought bambam into the position that he was in now. they were sitting across from each other at the small dining table. the other members were all out. yugyeom was tense, as if afraid for what bambam’s answer would be.

bambam’s mouth was slightly agape and he couldn’t help but think _why does this sound like he’s asking me on a date?_

“b-but it’s okay if you don’t want to!” yugyeom reassured, a pained smile on his face and something in his eyes that bambam couldn’t decipher. bambam shook his head and on instinct rested his hands onto yugyeom’s. yugyeom glanced to their overlapping hands then back to bambam. bambam knew for a fact he was blushing furiously right now, but for some reason he just felt this was… right? he swallowed his nerves before answering.

“of course i want to!” he said. he tried to stop his feelings get the best of him. it wasn’t a date. just a hang out between friends. just bros being bros. 

_right_. 

a look of relief swept across yugyeom’s face and bambam couldn’t help but feel his heart flutter. just a little.

“okay… is today okay?” yugyeom asked nervously. bambam let a small smile fall onto his lips.

“definitely,” he responded and yugyeom smiled a little. and bambam’s heart fluttered. again.

“i know this really nice café that jaebum-hyung told me about once, i think you’ll like it,” he said, like he had been preparing to say this sentence for a long time.

“sounds good,” bambam answered and wished he could take a picture of yugyeom’s smiling face right now. it was so genuine; so real. 

it was only when bambam felt his hand start to cramp up that he remembered that his hands were currently overlapping his best friends’. but instead of pulling away, he squeezed his hands tight.

and he couldn’t deny the feeling of warmth that spread throughout his body when yugyeom squeezed his hands back.

 

* * *

 

the sun was pleasantly warm as the two boys leisurely made their way to the café. they both had masks covering their faces with a cap on. they wanted this to be just between them without any fans to interrupt them. as much as they loved their ahgases, this was between them. they lowered their heads as they walked, which was pretty much how they always had to walk nowadays. 

“just this way,” yugyeom stated as they turned into a shady-looking alleyway. of course bambam was a little suspicious, but he trusted yugyeom completely. they entered a small building and bambam lifted his head to take it in. it almost brought tears to his eyes. his arms automatically wrapped around his best friend.

“a cat café?!” he exclaimed in excitement and the way his best friend smiled warmed his heart.

“well… yeah, i thought you’d like it,” yugyeom said, and bambam couldn’t help but see the blush that now decorated his best friend’s face.

“of course i do! thanks, gyeom,” he replied, pulling away from the other.

 

they had found a small table to sit at, however the food they ordered went forgotten as cats had run up to them. bambam was all over them, muttering small ‘okay, i’ll give you attention in a second’ and ‘gyeom! isn’t this one adorable?’ every now and then. bambam noticed that yugyeom was staying back avoiding the cats completely. and then it hit bambam.

“oh shit! you’re allergic, right?”

yugyeom let out a small laugh.

“yeah, but i thought you’d enjoy this place enough for me to ignore that,” he replied. bambam couldn’t help the smile that landed on his face. and then he was on a mission. he stood up from his spot and desperately looked around the café for a certain something. 

there it is. 

he rushed over to pick up this certain cat. a sphinx cat. no hair. _yugyeom would love it,_ bambam thought to himself. he gently picked up the cat to bring it to his best friend. the small grin on the other’s face was evident.

“here you go,” bambam stated as he gently placed the cat on yugyeom’s lap. it instantly curled itself up into yugyeom’s body.

“thank you,” was yugyeom’s simple reply. bambam sat back on his seat as yugyeom pat the cat, with all the love and adoration the world in his eyes.

one day, maybe, that look would be towards bambam.

 

bambam finished his small meal before yugyeom even spoke again. the cat was fast asleep on his lap and he continued to pat it rhythmically. yugyeom looked up from the cat to make eye contact with bambam. bambam hated the way his heart sped up as their eyes locked.

_it won’t ever happen, you know that. stop dreaming, please._

“can i talk to you about something?” yugyeom asked tentatively. bambam suddenly got nervous.

“of course,” was the only thing that could leave his lips. he noticed yugyeom took a deep breath, as if preparing himself for something. the rest of the room was empty; it was a weekday and most people were at work.

“i can’t stop… thinking about… that night,” yugyeom confessed. bambam didn’t want to believe it was the night he had also not been able to stop thinking about. 

“what night?” he replied, trying to hide the nerves that were painfully obvious.

“you know… after the concert. the celebration we all had,” yugyeom responded, something flickering in his eyes. _no way, he couldn’t have been able to remember it,_ bambam reassured himself, _why didn’t he say anything about it earlier if he knew?_

“oh yeah… you were pretty drunk,” bambam joked, trying to break the tense atmosphere between them. it worked a little, making yugyeom giggle slightly.

“i guess i was. but it’s weird, i can actually remember a lot of what happened that night,” he stated, shrugging a little. _no, he couldn’t have remembered. that memory was just supposed to be my own. he won’t see me that way,_ bambam thought.

“o-oh… is that so?” he tried to respond without sounding too weak.

“yeah,” yugyeom replied.

the air between them was tense. they spoke with unspoken words, knowing exactly what the other had remembered from that night.

“i want to say that i’m sorry,” yugyeom stated. bambam was suddenly taken aback.

“w-why?” 

“i kissed you.”

“oh, yeah. that happened.”

there was a short, awkward silence for a moment as the two best friends held eye contact. bambam spoke up first.

“you don’t need to apologise! don’t worry about it, you were drunk,” he stated. yugyeom gave him a slight smile that made bambam’s heart warm.

“i-i knew you’d understand, bammie!” yugyeom responded and bambam couldn’t help but hear the slight stutter yugyeom let out. bambam tried not to think too hard about it. yugyeom looked at his watch and jumped up. 

“oh, our time is over…” he said, seeming sad. bambam looked around at the cats and gave the fakest pout he could to yugyeom.

“but i want to stay with the cats,” he whined. yugyeom laughed gently. 

“ _bam-ah._ let’s go,” he tried to be stern but couldn’t help but continue to laugh. he put his hand out to help bambam up. bambam hesitated before grabbing it, know he would just his hand to enveloped by the taller boy’s hand for longer. he wanted the younger boy’s hand to hold his, to be the mediator for his own confused feelings. as he grabbed it, he loved the feeling. sure, they had held hands before, but it had never felt as intimate as this. he felt himself being pulled up with an incredibly strong pull.

_too_ strong.

yugyeom must not have realised how strong he was, because he had pulled bambam up _way_ too hard.

bambam went toppling over and was desperately grabbing whatever he could for support, including yugyeom himself. but before he could hit the ground, an arm wrapped around his backand pulled him in close.

_he caught me. thank_ god _for that._

once bambam had regained his senses he noticed something.

the arm that was used to catch him was wrapped tightly around him, pulling him into another person. he looked up slightly and noticed that yugyeom hadn’t let him go. every part of bambam was touching every part of yugyeom. bambam was frozen, not knowing what to do at this point. after a painful few seconds yugyeom seemed to realise what he was doing and let bambam go.

“t-thanks for catching me,” bambam mumbled, knowing full well his cheeks were a bright pink.

“no problem,” yugyeom said, trying to sound as nonchalant as he could, “i paid when we got here, we can go…” 

bambam nodded and realised how cold his hand had become without yugyeom’s own tangled in it. he sighed and followed yugyeom out of the café.

“thank you so much for bringing me out today. it means a lot,” bambam said and yugyeom smiled and nodded.

“it was just a small repayment for what you did for me,” he responded happily. bambam smiled back. they took a back way so that no fans would follow them. they walked in silence until bambam realised how _incredibly_ close they were walking. his hands would brush against yugyeom’s every now and then.

_could i?_

he took a deep breath in. 

he softly, purposefully, brushed his hand against yugyeom’s; the younger boy didn’t react. bambam quietly prepared his mind and body.

he gently linked his pinky finger with yugyeom’s, hoping and wishing for a non-negative reaction.

instead, he got a fate worse than rejection or acceptance.

he got _nothing._

_kim yugyeom, you have got to be kidding me. literally just say “ew” or rip your finger away from mine, i swear. don’t you_ dare _leave me with no reaction,_ bambam thought.

he swear he could have heard the younger boy make a small noise, but he wasn’t about to go and investigate further. they walked for a little while, pinky-in-pinky.

bambam couldn’t help but feel a little ridiculous.

as they rounded a corner, something bambam was definitely not expecting happened. yugyeom didn’t even hesitate or pause. 

he just continued walking as he intertwined his fingers with his best friends’.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uwu ... there's that !  
> also ... we're slowly getting to the end of this fic! everything might seem super unresolved, but ... you'll see!  
> thank you so so much for reading, please leave comments and kudos as it really motivates me to write more <3


	13. thirteen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm back~ school holidays have arrived so i'm gonna try to finish this by february!!  
> thank you for waiting!  
> also just realised i forgot to mention, this is happening around the current time but pretend that they all still dorm together~

_every moment i thought about you, i still loved you._

 

the two boys walked hand-in-hand until they reached their dorm. when bambam lifted his hand to unlock the door, yugyeom naturally let go. he opened the door and yugyeom quickly ran past him. bambam sighed, knowing what had just happened would stay as it was.

a memory. a simple gesture with no proper follow up.

_just like the kiss,_ bambam thought. he cringed slightly when he remembered that yugyeom knew. yugyeom remembered how he had leaned close; let their lips brush for a moment.

but bambam just knew yugyeom probably didn’t feel the same rush in his heart as it happened. he probably didn’t feel as if the weight of his confusion had lifted off his shoulders, even just for a moment. he probably didn’t feel the same love that bambam had.

bambam just sighed and went to his room. as he flopped down onto his bed, he thought. 

thinking was something that his hyungs told him he didn’t do much of. and that was partially true. the dumb things that he randomly decided to do, especially with yugyeom, were often done with little thought. they would almost always end badly, but the smile on his best friend’s face and the lightness of his heart would always make up for it.

he could now hear yugyeom talking with someone. _must be jaebum. probably telling him how good the café he recommended was,_ bambam thought. a bittersweet smile landed on his face. he had such a great day. he even held hands with yugyeom while walking, for goodness sake. 

but why did he feel so terrible about it?

he knows why. 

because yugyeom isn’t his. they’re not together.

the kiss. the hand-holding. it must have not meant anything.

he turned over in his bed, groaning loudly into his pillow. he sighed; he wasn’t about to go down this spiral of sadness again. 

_yugyeom loves me, i’m his best friend._

_that’s good enough for me,_ he thought. 

as if on cue, the protagonist of his thoughts appeared.

“bambam? you alright?” yugyeom’s gentle voice suddenly ripped him away from his thoughts. he sat up so fast his felt every bone his his body crack. yugyeom smiled at him from the door.

“i’m all good!” bambam responded as yugyeom walked towards him. bambam stood up and smiled, “thank you so much again for today.” he stated, and he felt the all-too-natural feeling of his best friend’s arms wrapping around him. he sighed into yugyeom’s shoulder; he was still annoyed that the younger boy was still growing. he, on the other hand, seemed to be hitting a plateau of growth. 

“it’s no problem. anything for my best friend,” yugyeom responded. bambam pulled away and lightly hit yugyeom on the shoulder.

“eh, don’t say such cheesy things!” he responded, earning a small laugh from yugyeom.

“sorry,” he said, smiling. bambam’s heart rushed. he felt an overwhelming amount of love for his best friend, and tentatively hugged him again. yugyeom seemed taken aback but leaned right in after a moment. bambam didn’t know how to continue this moment; luckily someone else helped.

“oi, lovebirds! we’re going out for ice cream, you guys wanna come?” 

at jackson’s words, the two broke apart instantly. bambam’s face blushed a bright red and couldn’t make eye contact with yugyeom. even though the two had already gone out that day, they were happy to go with the rest of the members.

bambam was happy for anything to distract him.

“s-sure!” he cursed himself for his stutter. he saw yugyeom nod in the corner of his eye. he swore he saw jackson wink at yugyeom, but he brushed it off as nothing. bambam rushed into the bathroom to make sure his hair looked decent. he looked at his flushed red face in the reflection of the mirror. _i better not have looked like this all day, i swear._

he sighed, splashing cool water on his face. making sure he didn’t rub hard enough to remove his carefully applied makeup, he dried his face. he sighed at his reflection and left the room.

the other members were all waiting for him at the door.

“sorry for holding you all up,” he apologises. _i wasn’t there for that long, was i?_

jaebum smiled, “don’t worry.” after mark locked the door, they all began walking.

 

the place where they usually buy ice cream isn’t too far away; they get there in a matter of a few minutes. thankfully, jaebum offered to pay so within in minutes they were sitting and talking with their respective ice creams. bambam kept notice of all the members, but couldn’t bring himself to look at yugyeom. jackson was desperately trying to get jinyoung to feed him a spoonful of his ice cream and jinyoung was laughing while shaking his head. mark, jaebum and youngjae were all arguing over which flavour was the best. and yugyeom… was quiet. that wasn’t like him, he would usually either be hyping jackson up or joining in the argument.

_or talking to me._

bambam sighed. there wasn’t a lot he could do. well, unless— 

he quickly grabbed his idle spoon, scooped a bit from yugyeom’s ice cream and ate it in one quick motion. yugyeom’s head whipped to the side, his downturned lips quickly morphing into a smile.

“bam-ah…” he said, in a joking warning tone. bambam held the spoon just out of reach from yugyeom. bambam knew yugyeom’s next course of action would be to move his ice cream as far away as possible. however, bambam was too fast, managing to grab another bite. yugyeom’s eyes crinkled and his smile widened.

“too late,” bambam responded.

“stop,” yugyeom laughed. bambam was eyeing the ice cream. it was unfortunately better than his own and he was craving more. so, he was gonna be daring.

“well if you’re not gonna let me have it on my own, i guess you’re gonna have to feed it to me.”

he instantly regretted those words. sure, it was a joke, but it sounded too serious.

but once again, yugyeom surprised him, “give me your spoon, then.” he replied.

bambam was one confident gay, but yugyeom always found a way to one-up him.

he couldn’t back down now. 

he nonchalantly passed his best friend his spoon. yugyeom took the biggest scoop possible, piling it all on. he looked back up toward bambam, his typical mischievous smile back on his lips. bambam hated the way his heart fluttered but couldn’t help but smile back.

“open wide,” yugyeom stated. bambam did as he was told. he definitely couldn’t gonna back down now. yugyeom held eye contact the entire time he fed bambam the ice cream. bambam ate it in a number of seconds, trying to one-up yugyeom. he knew it wouldn’t happen. he noticed yugyeom’s smile had never left. yugyeom’s eyes darted toward-

_no_.

_yugyeom did_ not _just glance toward my lips. he better not have-_

“uh… bambam? you have some ice cream… there…” he gestured toward the corner of bambam’s lip. bambam tried to not let his sigh of relief be too obvious. he furrowed his eyebrows, lifting his hand to wipe the right of his lip. he tilted his head in confusion when he removed his hand to find nothing on it.

“hold on, i’ll get it for you,” yugyeom offered and before bambam could refuse, yugyeom had already lifted his hand.

bambam was frozen as yugyeom gently brushed his lip with his thumb. yugyeom moved his hand and wiped his hand on a napkin.

“got it!” he said, smiling. bambam was in shock as he slowly touched his lips. he jumped out of it and attempted to give yugyeom a nice smile, not one that said _oh my god, you just touched my lips and my heart is beating what seems to be much too fast for my body._

“thanks, bro.” bambam responded and mentally punched himself in the face. _you dumbass! you literally did not need to say bro. like, at all. all of a sudden you’re pretending you’re straight?_ bambam tried to not let his own emotions show.

he looked away from yugyeom but instead made eye contact with jackson. he had most definitely seen what had just happened.

and that was evident by the wink that jackson sent his way.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! next chapter will get veerrry interesting, believe me....  
> let me know what you think of this chapter/this fic in general!! comments and kudos really do motivate me to write!!  
> for example, someone left a comment on the most recent chapter just today and it inspired me to continue, so thank you so so much for reading <3


	14. fourteen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy new year everyone~ i hope you have an amazing year ahead!  
> so... this is probably my favourite chapter of all and you'll probably see why owo  
> i recommend listening to any soft song (esp. got7 that's what i was listening to while writing it dsjhf) while reading~

_when i told you, i still loved you._

 

bambam avoided looking at jackson or yugyeom on the walk home. he knew jackson would make some kind of smart-ass comment and yugyeom… well, he didn’t want to fall harder than he had already. as they entered their dorm, yugyeom and jackson excused themselves and left the house once again. bambam’s mind was spinning. _what are they planning?_ he thought, sighing as he fell onto his bed. his mind instantly fell into thoughts of yugyeom. the way that his hand had gently touched his own lips sent bambam’s heart racing and a smile to his face. he shook his head. _kim yugyeom, you’re so difficult._

but, the more he thought of yugyeom the more his heart hurt.

he didn’t want to hide this anymore. all these years of watching yugyeom from a distance and knowing his feelings were just growing more and more just hurt even more.

bambam needed to change all this. he needed to let his feelings out; he couldn’t stand this pain and quietness anymore.

he took a breath as he decided today would be the day.

 

* * *

 

jackson and yugyeom returned home around twenty minutes later and bambam’s nerves were racing. he avoided looking at his bedroom door when it opened.

“hey,” his best friend’s voice rang around their small room. bambam smiled and looked toward him.

“hey,” he responded simply. yugyeom went to his bed and pulled out his phone. however, before he could even switch it on, bambam went for it, “yugyeom?” he said, pulling the younger boy’s attention toward him.

“hm?”

“can i… can i talk to you for a second?”

“yeah, of course!”

bambam cleared his throat and tentatively walked toward yugyeom and sat on the other end of his bed. his nerves were through the roof and the second he made eye contact with yugyeom all his words left him. his focus was stolen by yugyeom’s warm brown eyes. the flickers of hazel within them were visible from the sunlight gleaming through the windows. bambam glanced around the younger boy’s face. his high cheekbones, the small mole under his eye. his pink lips that bambam had once kissed. the long crescent-moon shaped earring that hung from one of his ears.

“bambam? everything alright?” yugyeom asked, jolting bambam from his observations.

“yeah,” was his automatic response. but, then he shook his head, “you know what. n-not really,” he said, slightly hanging his head. 

yugyeom automatically grabbed bambam’s hand in a show of comfort. bambam took a breath in, desperately trying to calm himself.

“y-you can tell me anything, you know that, right?” yugyeom said. bambam nodded slightly.

_i know, that’s why this is so hard for me._

“yeah,” he replied. he shakily inhaled, “yugyeomie… i…” he bit his lip in nervousness. the younger boy nodded his head, encouraging bambam to continue, “yugyeom-ah… i love you,” he began.

“i love you too, bammie—” yugyeom began to respond.

“but… gyeom-ah, i really love you so much. every time i think of you my heart races and my thoughts get messy and i can’t stop smiling or crying and i just—” bambam cut himself off, breathing to compose himself, “you mean the world to me. every time you smile at the members, or ahgases, or at me, i can’t help but love you more than i already do. it’s been years and i keep telling myself that it’s not gonna happen but i can’t hide it anymore. yugyeom, i’m in love with you.”

bambam closed his eyes, bracing for the reaction. _i can’t believe i just let everything out like that. you idiot, you shouldn’t have said anything._ yugyeom hadn’t said anything and bambam felt awful. he bit his lip and felt a pang in his chest when yugyeom loosened his grip on bambam’s hands.

“bambam, i—” yugyeom began to say, but his best friend cut him off.

“y-you don’t have to say anything, it’s alright,” bambam reassured him, feeling nerves rush throughout his body. he regretted what he said, but he couldn’t take it back now. yugyeom tried to get closer to bambam in support, but bambam couldn’t take it. it felt so off.

“bammie…” yugyeom said quietly in a desperation of some kind. bambam couldn’t look back at him. he knew that after he confessed, life would be different between the two of them. but he didn’t know how much he would hurt if the other said nothing.

“i’m sorry,” he responded simply, looking even further away. 

“bambam, please look at me.” yugyeom pleaded. bambam couldn’t ignore the quiet voice of his best friend. of the person he had loved silently for years. the person he had been wholeheartedly in love with. he turned to see his friend looking directly back. bambam tried to decipher yugyeom’s eyes; they seemed to be saying so much.

the two friends were so close to each other. so close that bambam had to lean back slightly or their noses would brush against each other. bambam could feel yugyeom’s breath on his face. he almost wanted to cry; he was so close, yet so far.

his confession felt so heavy in the air. they couldn’t ignore it. bambam heard yugyeom swallow loudly, as if nervous. he opened and closed his mouth a few times before speaking.

“bambam?”

“y-yeah?”

“can i kiss you?”

 

bambam was taken aback. yugyeom seemed adamant in his stance. there was no joking or teasing tone. it was serious, if not _incredibly_ nervous.

bambam didn’t know how to respond. his simply nodded his head, anxious for what could happen. yugyeom leaned closer and closer. he closed his eyes.

_this can’t be happening._

before bambam could truly process anything, he felt a pair of soft lips on his own. they sat for a moment, neither doing anything to progress further or pull away.

bambam kissed back gently, giving yugyeom the confirmation to continue. the younger boy’s hand slowly travelled to caress the side of bambam’s face. bambam absentmindedly laid his hand on the other’s thigh. he leaned further into the kiss, and yugyeom reciprocated instantly. he felt yugyeom’s hand run through his hair; a sigh of relief escaping his lips onto bambam’s own. 

bambam couldn’t get enough of this feeling. his heart was racing fast. he pulled away for a moment, locking eyes with yugyeom. the younger boy frowned a little and bambam was more than eager to kiss that frown away. he couldn’t believe it was happening.

so many years of confusion. of pain. of sadness. it was all gone. he kissed with slightly more forceand felt yugyeom’s hand tighten in his hair. his other hand travelled down bambam’s arm to grab his free hand. bambam hated—

_no, i don’t hate it anymore. i don’t hate how my heart flutters at his touch. i don’t hate how his smile makes me feel comforted. i don’t hate any of it anymore,_ bambam thought, feeling a warmth spread throughout his body.

_i love the way my heart races. i love the warmth of his hand in mine. i love him._

_i love kim yugyeom._

without realising, tears had started pooling in the corners of his eyes. yugyeom noticed and quickly pulled away.

“you okay?” he asked concerned. bambam couldn’t help but laugh, feeling the weight lift off his shoulders. in this motion, the tears fell from his eyes.

“idiot,” he laughed and yugyeom smiled. the younger boy moved his hand so he could wipe the tears off bambam’s face. he giggled in response.

“i’m—”

“gyeom-ah! you coward!”

“i’m sorry!”

“you have no idea how long i’ve wanted you to do that!” bambam teased and yugyeom’s face blushed a bright red.

“s-stop!” he responded, hiding his face in his hands. bambam leaned forward, trying to pry yugyeom’s hands away. yugyeom suddenly pushed his hands away and the force sent bambam reeling backwards. before he could even process anything, he was lying on his bed, yugyeom over him. he looked up toward his best friend, who smiled down on him. he leaned down and bambam felt the now familiar feel on yugyeom’s lips on his own. he smiled into the kiss, feeling his heart rush once again. but he wasn’t going to let yugyeom win. 

when yugyeom pulled away for a moment, bambam quickly jutted his hand into the younger boy’s shoulder, causing him to lose balance for a moment. he used this momentum to push yugyeom over so that he was on top. his thighs straddled yugyeom’s and he smiled.

bambam thought he finally had the situation under control. 

“i love you,” yugyeom stated. it was a common statement that people used everyday of their lives. but bambam was so taken aback he couldn’t speak. yugyeom laughed and took advantage of this situation to get out from under bambam. the older boy was frozen, these simple words rendering him speechless, “i didn’t realise that saying a phrase would stop the wild bambam in his tracks,” yugyeom laughed and bambam was brought back to reality. he hit the younger boy in the shoulder.

“just because i confessed to you and you… kissed me…” he began, but the reality of the words hit him and he was once again unable to speak. years of feelings had been exposed and he felt so blissfully numb. yugyeom cocked his head. _damnit, he’s cute—_ bambam thought to himself.

“and what? you’re not going to say it back~?” yugyeom satirised. bambam bit his lip in anger, but decided to give yugyeom a taste of his own medicine.

“teasing, are we? is that something you’re into?” he teased in return. but yugyeom didn’t miss a beat.

“there’s only one way for you to find out,” he returned, inching closer to bambam whose face flushed in response.

“you win, you win!” he admitted. however, yugyeom leaned forward and kissed him anyway, “gyeom-ah! w-what was that for?” bambam wasn’t quite complaining, though.

“my prize for winning,” he responded.

“stop being so damn smooth, kim yugyeom,” bambam replied, smiling.

“can’t help it. anyway, the question you asked was only for people i’m dating to know,” yugyeom stated. now it was bambam’s turn to be smooth.

“and we’re not?” he asked. yugyeom paused and his mouth gaped a little. however, it soon turned into a small grin.

“bambam… are you asking what i think you’re asking?” he questioned.

“yes, kim yugyeom. i’m asking you to be my boyfriend.” bambam answered simply. his heart raced at his own words. yugyeom grabbed his hand gently.

“and i’d have to say yes. bambam, i’ll be your boyfriend.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you all enjoyed~  
> ngl i'm soft over my own fic pls leave comments/kudos i will love u forever  
> feel free to talk to me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/softcyjs) <3


	15. fifteen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you enjoy this last chapter <3

_and from then on, you still loved me._

 

yugyeom and bambam left their room and entered into the main room. they hadn’t really decided if they would tell their hyungs, or anyone really, just yet. 

but their happy aura definitely piqued the attention of one certain hong kong native.

jackson looked from bambam to yugyeom as if studying them. then, a smile fell on his face. bambam wanted to pry into this, but knew the outcome would end up him outing him and yugyeom in front of him. so, he forced himself to be quiet. he sat on a couch and yugyeom sat next to him. _real_ close. bambam wanted to tell him to at least pretend they weren’t madly in love but couldn’t help but feel all soft inside when yugyeom’s arm draped over his shoulder.

“you guys alright?” pried jackson.

bambam and yugyeom spoke at the same time: “yeah” and “why do you ask?”

bambam mentally punched himself, and yugyeom, in the face. their answers were so obviously fast and suspicious he might have well just shouted, “yeah all good, we’re in love now” and just for good measure, “don’t mind us, we just kissed in the room down the hall for a good ten minutes”.

jackson smirked, looking at yugyeom directly. none of the other members were in the room at the moment. bambam saw yugyeom suddenly become flustered and the cause seemed to be the eye contact he created with jackson.

“oh my _god,_ jackson! shut up!” yugyeom suddenly burst out, awkward and embarrassed. this just brought more attention than ever to his embarrassment. especially since jackson had definitely not said a word since the two youngest responded.

“i haven’t said anything~,” jackson teased and bambam could feel this wasn’t going to end well. his best friend — well, _boy_ friend now — was visibly red and looked like he wanted to bury himself in a hole and hide forever.

“f-fine!” yugyeom said and suddenly his hand found bambam’s own. he grabbed it and brought it forward so their entangled fingers were now the centre point of attention, “me… m-me and bambam are f-finally dating!” he burst out and bambam felt his heart stop for a second. he glanced over and yugyeom’s head was bowed in embarrassment. bambam couldn’t help but notice yugyeom’s use of the word _finally._ he glanced from yugyeom to jackson, who was now beaming.

this wasn’t exactly how he planned admitting that he was dating yugyeom to someone. _i guess it can’t be helped,_ he thought. still, just thinking that he _really is_ dating yugyeom still causes his heart to race.

“jackson… what’s going on?” bambam asked. jackson smiled even wider and yugyeom turned more red than he ever thought was possible.

“well, our gyeomie here—” jackson began but yugyeom interrupted.

“y-you really don’t have to tell him—” but now it was yugyeom’s turn to be cut off.

“ooh yeah, i do. yugyeomie here told me about his fat crush on you… when was it? a year ago?” jackson questioned, “anyway, i agreed to let him rant about you whenever he wanted and i’d try to help him calm down about you,” he continued and bambam couldn’t help but feel soft inside. _hold on a hot second—_ bambam thought.

“gyeom-ah? you liked me for that long and never told me?” he asked and his boyfriend just hid further into himself.

“o-of course i didn’t! you’re my best friend! i-i was too afraid of rejection,” yugyeom admitted, kind of nervously. bambam felt his heart drop, knowing he thought the same things. he turned and hugged the younger boy.

“it’s alright… i know how you feel. i… i liked you for ages and never told you. if anything, i should—” bambam paused his words. something had clicked, “is that why you kissed me that one time?” he asked. yugyeom let out a small screech of embarrassment that bambam thought was just the _cutest_.

“stop! i don’t even want to think about it. i was drunk and for some reason my drunk mind thought it was a good idea to kiss you then to see if my feelings were real or not. i thought that life would be so much easier if i kissed you and didn’t feel anything and i could just let this all go… but _no._ i just had to want you even more!” yugyeom desperately tried to explain. bambam smiled lifting yugyeom’s chin so they could make eye contact.

“i’m glad you did. you just made me want _you_ even more,” he responded. he was a second away from kissing yugyeom before jackson stopped him.

“ _ew_!” he mocked. bambam smiled.

“what? you homophobic or something?” he teased. jackson scoffed.

“shut up. it’s not like i’m literally gayer than the both of you combined,” he replied, earning a laugh from the two youngest members.

“valid,” yugyeom responded, moving his head from bambam’s hand. jackson paused, as if thinking of the right way to word something.

“are you guys… gonna tell the others?” he asked gently, seeming afraid that this was a question too far. the two youngest looked at each other and bambam shrugged.

“i mean… at some point, we kinda have to, right? we’ll figure it out as we go along. won’t we, gyeom-ah?” he stated, nudging yugyeom. the younger smiled.

“yep,” was his simple response. bambam’s heart palpitated for a moment, the years of love he felt for yugyeom rushing back to him at once.

_i can call him_ mine _now,_ he thought, smiling. his hand drifted back towards yugyeom’s almost automatically. the younger boy grabbed it almost instantly.

he and yugyeom were like opposite poles of a magnet, drawn to each other no matter what happened.

 

* * *

 

a day had passed since the two had started dating. somehow, the member one year their senior had figured out what had happened and bambam couldn’t help but feel a certain hong kong native had something to do with it. 

the next few days passed with youngjae double-taking whenever he saw the two together, giving them a knowing smile that was so intense his eyes crinkled. yugyeom always became flustered and tried to move away but bambam always held his hand tighter; pulled him in closer.

  
the two had enough and finally broke the news to the other members.

“yeah… so i guess you can say we’re dating now?” 

it was more of a question to themselves than a statement from the others. at first there was no response and bambam’s nerves went through the roof.

“took you long enough,” came from, surprisingly, _jaebum_. bambam suddenly remembered that time from years ago that he told him he liked a guy. he wasn’t too good at hiding who it was, it seems. mark and jinyoung both congratulated them. all the while jackson was smirking as he was the only one with this as prior knowledge. bambam rolled his eyes at him and jackson simply winked in response. youngjae was all around very sweet and congratulated the two, seeming to not realise how obvious he had been earlier in the week. the two youngest began to feel slightly awkward and quickly called off the temporary “meeting” they had called with their hyungs. as everyone dispersed back to doing their own things, they ran to their room. 

yugyeom instantly grabbed a pillow and absolutely _threw_ it as hard as he could at his best friend.

“why did you make us call a meeting?! we could have just told them one at a time!” he said, face flushed red in embarrassment. bambam just laughed and threw the pillow back.

“it’s better to just rip off the bandaid at once, right?” he replied. yugyeom hid his blushing face behind his hands. he walked toward bambam who instinctively took a step back. his back hit a wall. _oh no,_ he thought. 

yugyeom paused in front of him and ran his hand down bambam’s arm. his body shivered in response.

“you should be glad i love you,” he stated, a playful smile landing on his lips. his hand came back up and gently grabbed his chin. yugyeom got closer and paused, waiting for bambam’s response. he answered by connecting their lips together in a deep kiss. yugyeom quickly got used to it, running his hands up into bambam’s hair. bambam let out an involuntary noise against yugyeom’s lips and felt yugyeom smile. but bambam couldn’t let yugyeom win, no matter how much he enjoyed what was going on right now. as he pulled away, he couldn’t help but smile at yugyeom’s look of confusion. oh, how he loved the younger boy.

 

* * *

 

days turned into weeks. late nights filled with soft passion and early mornings filled with gentle laughter passed by.

one particular morning bambam woke up with yugyeom curled up next to him. his hands were gripping the older boy’s arm, and bambam just knew yugyeom must have been awoken by nightmares and bambam was the way to bring himself back to reality. he placed a kiss on the younger boy’s forehead and the boy in question gently opened his eyes.

bambam was entranced by the way the light from the open window danced upon his face, his eyelashes casting a shadow under his eyes. a sleepy smile graced yugyeom’s face and bambam couldn’t help but fall in love with him even more.

“you alright?” he asked and yugyeom just slowly blinked his eyes, clearly still half-asleep.

“yeah, all good,” he said sleepily, rubbing his eyes. he then looked up toward the roof, “i love you,” he stated. it was out of nowhere and bambam choked. 

“i- gyeom- yugyeom-ah, you can’t just say that!” he spluttered and yugyeom’s cute sleepy smile transformed into a knowing smirk.

“what? you don’t love me?” he taunted and bambam rolled his eyes.

“yes, gyeom-ah. i love you… you happy now?” he replied and yugyeom laughed. he sat up and placed a hand on bambam’s jaw and gave him a quick, chaste kiss. bambam refused to let this be it, so the second yugyeom pulled away he jumped in, kissing him again. they sat for a moment just like this, yugyeom’s hand falling from his face onto his hand. bambam was the one to move away this time.

“kim yugyeom, you’re so annoying.”

“i know. but you love me, bam-ah.”

“unfortunately. you best believe even after all these damn years, i still loved you.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so... there we go. i really hope you guys liked this ending. it was so so hard for me to finally finish this story and put an end to this canon-compliant au, i honestly love it so much :(
> 
> i remember thinking of this au at a wedding and it was supposed to be pure angst and heartbreak, but i hope yall are happy with the way it actually ended up turning out!! i know i am <3 i had to delete huge chunks of text bc i just wasn't happy with it at some points and it hurt to do it, but honestly i'm glad i did uwu  
> thank you so, so much for reading this fic! it honestly means a lot, knowing that people actually are excited for this fic to update and for those of you who comment, i love and appreciate you!  
> ahh i don't wanna finish this notes section bc then it will truly be over :((  
> thank you again for reading this, it's really been a long adventure writing it. i will endeavour to continue writing yugbam and got7 fics in general because i love these boys so much. i apprecaite and love you all a lot <3 thank you!
> 
> p.s. i'm currently writing a yugjae fic, so maybe keep an eye out for that!!


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